Failing Hard!

Disarming Failure.

Self doubt.

Insecurity.

Uncertainty.

Chances are–if you are a human being, and not a bot reading this–you may have come across these feelings more than once in your lifetime.

Here’s the super catch!

They seem to pair well with fear; which precedes them all.

Through personal observation from my albeit short but experienced existence, my professional opinion as a human is that these emotions are the main challenges to curtail and control, while navigating life on this mammoth giant rock. However, they can be extremely mentally (so much so that it appears physical) crippling, especially when channeled into beat down energy.

Imagine if a baby learning to walk stayed down the first time she fell?

The evolution of the human race would look a lot different.

Aside from the innate satisfaction we probably all get from the praises associated with outward success, we have also been carefully socialized to be allergic to failure.

It keeps the wheels of capitalism turning.

Whether it’s the movie scene depicting an embarrassed human who has just fallen face first in front of a large crowd, or the competition that only awards medals to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place.

This is considered standard practise, right?

And fair enough, because all the other people won nothing.

Correct?

WRONG!

I postulate they might have even more success than the decorated individuals. And no, before you roll your eyes in assumption, this is not an “everyone wins an award” trope post.

Quite the contrary, actually.

We love the fact that some people are without a medal. If they all had one, the lesson would have been lost on them. They’d lose the ability to access the secret life sauce that makes real winners. This sauce invites winning to become a habit, something another human could never award you.

Resilience my people, that’s the sauce!

The magic sauce reminding you, you really can get through everything.

Every. Single. Time.

As long as you believe it, you transcend your ‘failures’; they become your teachers.

undefined Professors of life, if you will.

Every time you ‘fail‘, you learn something new, something useful about yourself that can be applied to implement even more wins.

We have been taught failures are entirely negative, because of this the older we get, the more afraid we become to try.

Afraid to ‘fail’ in relationships,

afraid to fail in career paths,

afraid to truly be ourselves,

cause, what if we fail at gaining acceptance?

I’m here to say fuck that!

Fuck a timid life driven by fear!

You see, the fear of failure breeds desperation.

A feeling of unprecedented lack, where we think we need to make rash decisions.

Lack of gratitude.
This only enables us to settle for less than we know we deserve; moniterally, emotionally and even morally.

Here’s what we gain when we fail head first:

Depth –better understanding of your own world view.

Curiosity! The fear of failing steals the childlike curiosity we were all born and empowered with. Growing pains, coupled with a few life blows could make one feel being closed off is the safer and better choice. Resisting the ability for things to pique your interest.

Now, all you do is fear the worst.

Self efficacy; when you fail head first and then get through it, there’s a level of confidence in self. ‘I can do this’ and there will be empirical evidence; yourself -because you’ve done it before- to back this claim.

Most Importantly Failing Shows You Tried.

Try, Try and Try Some More!

You saw something you wanted, and you went for it!

That is amazing!

This alone is a worthy laudable feat.

You ain’t no sucker!

Embrace that. You learnt something new. Attempting anything is always the first start to any path in life. You have to try. Award your own damn self for trying.

When you master the life hack of celebrating your failures (even more so than your successes), you crack the code. You are no longer waned in spirit by small life hiccups. The more you work this muscle, the less downtime you need when you encounter one.

So celebrate those that left you hanging when you needed them the most, you got through it. Resilience!

You could never learn this lesson by only acquiring outward commercial ‘wins’, so is ‘failure’ really a loss?

With this knowledge, go forth and conquer the world. The next time you hit that seemly unfavorable life curveball, ride it! Make sure you try everything with your head held high. The real success in life is a human being with some self respect.

-Joy Owodunni

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