Love On A Budget

Location Setting: West Africa; Nigeria

Short Stories With Anonymous

A salacious tale of passionate love & sexcapades, with a frugal millennial lacking a trust fund account. So naturally, i’m simply more creative.

& so the story goes; 

i had just graduated from University, ’twas a fun & innocent time. The world was my innocent oyster. I had accomplished a lot; or so I thought. Just earned my Bachelor’s Degree in Business Management.

I was on my direct path to being a millionaire, right? Wrong !

Maybe in the olden days not in this Baby Boomer’s economy. However, this isn’t a rant about the state of world global economics.

Every Nigerian with any intent of joining the workforce, has to participate in a compulsory programme called the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC).

Nigeria is a multicultural country, with an estimation of about 250 ethnic groups. All with their unique culture & way of interaction. NYSC was an initiative created in 1973; aimed at bridging the gap between the different Nigerian ethnicities & developing Nigeria. Corp members (Nigerian graduates) are placed in states other than their state of origin to encourage intermingling between ethnicities. & learning about the culture of the location they are placed  in.


depending on your personal level of financial buoyancy –& or nepotism/cronyism– there are ways to jerk or finagle your way around the system. However, the process familiar with every Nigerian has become somewhat of a rite of passage. & you cannot run for President without an NYSC certificate, proving your service to your country.

The beginning of the programme starts with a scheduled 3 weeks “orientation” in a controlled military camp or base. It is usually the hardest part to get out of & most Nigerians would attend camp.

This is were most of the love stories & magic happens. I already had a boyfriend before I went to serve my country. Today’s story is about how I skipped camp to have some hot & ravenous sex with my –then– boyfriend.

‘Twas a hard time in the Nigerian economy -lol when has it not been though?- & there was a huge fuel scarcity. Nigeria as whole literally runs on fossil fuels, with barely any constant electricity.

Most “well-to-do” Nigerians have a generator in their backyard to combat this issue. Lack of constant electricity also kills many local business before they have the chance to truly take root, -buying diesel everyday to operate a generator may not be great for one’s bottomline.-

But yeah, basically the country was in a little bit of chaos. No fuel consequently led to an immediate spike in the prices of goods & services, creating an artificial ultra high inflation bubble…& I was broke.

Brokedt. On a budjet.

I had been placed in Calabar for my youth corps programme –i lived in Lagos– ,my boyfriend; Femi & I worked through the long distance. He was self employed for a while, so he already had a full-time job. Femi usually paid my air fares  from Calabar to see him in Lagos. I didn’t have a job, so I couldn’t afford the air fare. NYSC did pay, but it could only be considered a little stipend at best. After about 3 back & forth trips of Femi baring the financial brunt of our meetings, he became –expectedly– irritable.

You see, I was allegedly supposed to be from a well off family to his knowledge. & Femi couldn’t comprehend why I simply didn’t ask my dad for financial support. Little did he know my dad & I have always had a tumultuous relationship.

My parents were divorced & barely got along. At the time, I thought it necessary for my survival to keep a happy face of prosperity & enjoyment to the public. In Nigerian society you could be ostracized & liable for the sins of your problematic family. This creates a toxic cycle of victims barely addressing the real issues of what goes on behind closed doors or even seeking help in the first place.

Now, older & wiser, I realized it is all a facade & a game of “Keeping Up With the Jones”, most of the women in those marble houses are sad.

I didn’t think Femi would comprehend the concept of a father who seems to hate his own daughter. Nigerians are extremely family oriented, brainwashed to seldom question authority & take an ‘adult’s‘ word, as bond.  Although I trusted Femi, I wasn’t ready to be that vulnerable with him, this affair in my house was one of the biggest shames I carried around mentality. I was fine with his quick assumption of me being a spoilt rich brat, although…that hurt too.

My days in Calabar were coming to an end. It was the last week on camp, things were slowly winding down & I decided I was going to pay Femi one last visit before I travelled back home. I called his cell expressing my intentions & we almost immediately  go into a tiff over the airplane fees. In the heat of the moment, I hung up on him & he never called back.

3 days went by & still no call back from the love of my life. I then I devised the wonderful idea to just surprise him!

As I stated before; I was strapped for cash. A broke millennial, so I decided to be adventurous & creative. Taking public transportation cross country on the hunt for love & some bomb dick.

By bus, the trip from Calabar to Lagos was going to take 11 long hours. But that was nothing but a token of my love & appreciation.

I woke up early on Friday of the same week, packed my weekend to-go bag with my bus fare N6250;17.24USD; 15 EUROs, ready to surprise my prince charming. The fare was usually N4000, however due to fuel scarcity there was a sharp spike in prices.

At 6:00pm I get myself to the bus stop in Onitsha; a city located in Southern Nigeria, giddy & pent up with a plethora of emotions mostly; excitement.

This was my first real rodeo with public transportation in Nigeria. I was nervous but proud of myself for getting this far. I found myself a comfortable seat; next to the window & waited for the journey to commence.

Everything seems fine & dandy enough, I even ask myself why I had never considered this as a means of transportation. Yes, most of the connecting roads in Nigeria were dilapidated, yet the cost of this trip was making it look even more attractive as a viable option.

An hour into the bus ride I decided to give Femi a call, I did want to surprise him. However, I realized it wasn’t wise to doing some major long distance travelling without informing any of my loved ones of my whereabouts. I certainly wasn’t telling my family, so I told Femi I was on the way.

New flash! He didn’t believe me. There was no way in hell the boujee bitch he thought he knew, was inside a molue bus. He thought wrong, but I guess I could show him better than I could tell him. 6 hours into the bus ride & things had been pretty uneventful, little did I know I was in for a ride of my life.The bus randomly breaks down in Delta state in the middle of the night. S. O. S. & the freak out began.

Passengers started getting ansty, after hearing several empty promises from the bus conductor & his failing vehicle, most of them started to jump ship. Asking for their fare fees back, so as to join another bus & continue their journey to their perspective places. Multiple pleads & to no avail from the passengers after, the bus conductor gave in returning the fares to the passengers who requested them.

I wasn’t quite as bold, I was scared. Shook.

It was 1:00am in the morning!

& I had no idea where I was. I decided to do the safe thing –to some– & stay put! Commencing the journey in the morning like the bus driver promised. I call Femi to give him a heads up about my current state of affairs & ding! Ding! You guessed it ! He still didn’t believe me. It probably also didn’t help that we played a lot of pranks in our relationship.

Although at this point the doubt was getting tiresome & tedious. Especially since I wasn’t sure if my life was in danger or not.

However, I stayed put. After all, what was the alternative? Walking around in the dark? I’m also a woman, so my safety was even that much more important to me, living in a world where women are seen as an easy target.

The next day, just as the bus conductor promised the journey continued. & I arrived at my destination in Yaba, Lagos. I had called Femi in the morning telling him to be a the bus stop because this was no prank & I was exhausted. The journey that was supposed to be an estimated 11 hours took a whooping 24 hours! Almost double the duration.

Immediately I get out of the tin vehicle, I spot Femi; my tall dark bearded Yoruba adonis. & we immediately engulf each other in a passionate embrace. He was utterly gobsmacked that I had taken the bus to come see him. So was I. But I loved this man you see. Femi helped me load my bag into his car & we drive straight to his house.

You might ask me, was it worth it ?

& my answer was & always will be heck yes!

Here’s to bomb & steamy long distance make up sex. Femi paid for my flight back to Calabar & 2 weeks later he paid for me to come right back.

Guess who’s always worth it ?





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